Most of my life I've been the fat girl. It used to bother me, and my confidence suffered because of the daunting stigma that leeched itself to my supple flesh.

Who likes fat people? I certainly didn't. I felt self-conscious eating in front of people. I felt like they were judging me by the food I ate, that French cruller going straight to my belly. Both satisfying and humiliating. Going for seconds!? Haha! True fatty attitude, where is your portion control?

Now, I see a transformation of mind body and soul before my Own eyes. A long way until the journey is complete, but the wonderful experiences I've had this far,only propel me to push myself further.

I'm realizing my potential in every aspect of my life, and I need to nurture that potential to full capacity.

Ah!! Here I am!

I can't remember the last time I was anything smaller than a size 18. Another small victory to my list. When I buy a bicycle i will reach many more victories ahead.

These passed couple weeks have been emotionally taxing. Fucking hormones! I've fallen off the wagon a little bit. I haven't been a strong urge to go to the gym these days. I guess you can say I've been slacking. Diet has been difficult to maintain. I don't go more than 2 days go between a work out but my diet sucks compared to my first couple of months.

I need to just cut that shit out, because I am well aware I am the one hindering my own success. Isn't this process "normal"? A lot of people have slip ups, but I can't and I won't become a statistic.

Me back in nov 2011... And then feb 2012. 40 lbs lighter

I am ready to put myself out there, get in the "scene" and meet new people, try new things and see new places. So much is changing for me in my life this year, it's comforting to know that I can thrive outside of my comfort zone.

Since I've bern going to the gym regularly, I've been noticing a shift in the type of attention I am getting. I think the fact that I'm so happy shows. Sure i lost some weight, I look different, feel different too. While at the gym, and also at work, I get a lot more men smiling different at me. Taking second looks. I don't want to sound full of myself because I most certainly am not. After being looked past for so many years, it's exciting that I am being noticed.

Just a small victory!

Psycho babble

I caught myself the other night talking to my fat. Go ahead, laugh! I was bidding my fat farewell and good riddens I see myself shrinking!! Love it!

Push.

I started this blog in order to express my feelings A lot of previous posts always felt like I had to find something to talk about just to hear myself talk.

I recently, by that I mean 2 months, acted on the decision to change my life. I have always thought of my self as the fat girl, fat cousin, fat sister. Anyway, you get the point- I was fat, physically and mentally. Most of my childhood I was overweight, since about 8 years old. I will be 25 this year.
For the first time in my life,
I am the happiest I have ever been with the way I am CHOOSING to live my life. I joined the gym and I have found it to be the the best outlet!!

So I will be tracking my progress and just thoughts. My brother suggested I start writing a blog. Maybe it can help someone along the way. So much to say, but the words can only be said on writing.